The Idiot

Sigh. This is a rubbish half week so far, I'm glad it's over tomorrow! I hate it when I have to work over the weekend... particularly as I feel like I haven't had proper time off in forever. The five days mini-holiday I was due to embark on in the last post never happened... ending up covering two colleagues, as I owed one a day and the other was ill. Wanted to earn some extra holiday for when I really need it! Then I had four days off in a row and spent 85% of that joyous free time SLEEPING. Seriously! And not in a good way. It started off with a day of puking and then I could barely sit up for no discernable reason for all that time. And then of course, the morning I was due to return to work (last Thursday), I felt perfectly fine. I feel cheated, and behind on my self-projects.

So I have not been a good work bunny the past "working week", which I better address pronto, before anyone strongly notices. I have been dishevelled and finding it hard to muster care about all the finicky grammar things I should. We had an editorial meeting today and I very blatantly stared into space, looking utterly depressed.

However, I have succeeded in writing my first features article! I will share it once its published, which should be Wednesday, in case anyone points out any glaring errors pre-production. I'm quite proud of it, and now I've done it, future ones should be a bit easier to attempt. I haven't published anything since 2005, which gave me a severe case of jitters. Felt like I was about to lose my publishing virginity again. Unfortunately, unlike the real sort of virginity, drinking (which I did try out) did not assist in moving things along. But it got done, and in the nick of time, so hopefully that's fine.

Unfortunately, I have also faffed up in another way. You see, I offered an article to both the daily paper and the monthly magazine, which have different editors. It was on the same person, but I thought there was so much content, I could write two articles on different aspects. And it seemed the monthly magazine wouldn't publish it til two months from now, while the daily paper could publish it sooner, and one of the aspects was a really important, "hot topic" that I worried be less relevant if it was left too late. Blah. So I offered to to the magazine editor, who accepted, and then to the features editor, telling her I had offered it to the magazine editor, did she think it would be possible for me to do two or too much overlap? And she said it would be fine, and that she would talk to the magazine editor about it. At this point, I should have spoken to him too, but both intimidate me to be honest, the magazine editor particularly (as I had to chase him across the office to get him to talk to me in the first place), so I thought I would just take her at her word and leave her to sort whatever out with him.

So, I was supposed to give both articles in on Friday, but couldn't as the person I interviewed did not complete the email interview til that afternoon. The features editor said Monday would be fine. And then of course, typical me, today I was still madly writing both at the same time, but I didn't know how I could properly differentiate them unless I knew when the magazine one would be published. So I finally contacted the magazine editor, asking just that, and acknowledging I should have spoken to him directly, but imagined he and the features editor had probably discussed it anyway. He got back to me, and the features editor had obviously never spoken to him, and he said he was surprised I had essentially offered the exact same article to the features desk after I had him, without telling him, and that it would be a stretch to do two articles on the same person, as the two publications were linked.

He didn't seem expressly annoyed... but I imagine he thinks I'm an immature idiot. I probably didn't help matters by apologising and saying I was a bit nervous around the office still. So. I don't know how I am going to get into his good books. Guess it will take even longer than it would have to begin with.

However, I have decided I absolutely hate deadlines, not having quite recovered from the trauma of the uni experince just yet... so I am going to avoid them at all costs for foreseeable future. I am not quite a journalist, essentially just a salaried subeditor and a freelance features writer. So from now on, I will write articles at my own pace, and only offer them to either the features section, Sunday paper or monthly magazine once they are done, or near enough so! So I will never again seem like a blithering idiot and promise articles that don't exist yet. I love writing, but not when it feels forced.

In other non-careery news... not much else to report. I still veer between loneliness, happiness, boredom and bliss, on a pretty much daily basis. I am getting to know my workmates better, but most of all, more than any romance, I am longing for great girlfriends... twirling... cocktails... and proper gossip.

Gimme!